Last weekend we went camping in the bush.
We arrived at our campsite, pitched our tent, lit the fire and began to relax – the sounds of nature feeding our souls, thoughts of the city were fading into the distance. We were alone –BLISS!
We planned to enjoy walks, birding and reading. We had been looking forward to this break for some weeks and I had specifically selected a couple of books for this time of relaxation.
The following morning the 4×4’s started rolling into the next-door site – this did not worry us too much initially until the music started blaring through the speakers and reverberating through the ground. Suddenly no bird song, no birds, only the sound of loud music and a crowd of about 20 people.
Our blissful weekend seemed to evaporate in a couple of minutes.
A CODE OF CONDUCT is a guideline for all.
At each campsite, there was a code of conduct sign which clearly stated, no music; no loud revving of engines; no littering; no picking of flora and fauna or wood and….
"To leave only footprints and take only photographs"
This was the way to respect not only fellow campers, but the land and habitation where we were all guests.
It took a while before we believed that our neighbours had no plans to turn off their music, or respect that there were other guests in the camp.
After an hour we called the management of the camp and they intervened to highlight the code of conduct which all campers were required to comply with or would have to leave.
In our workplaces, there are policies and codes of conduct to protect employees. In society, there is the Law. Whether we are talking about drivers on our roads, our children, employees, or our boss, respect is one of our fundamental core needs that we experience as humans.
We know in our gut whether we have mutual respect with one another.
But how does this emerge in business, society and families?
We may have a code of conduct just as there was at our bush camp – but our camping neighbours had not bothered to read it or if they had, they certainly did not think it was important to follow.
We all have a sense of what is OK or not OK – but we may not all subscribe to the same set of rules.
However, each of us is hardwired to know with whom we feel safe; how close we want to stand next to strangers; or how intimate we want to be on a first date!
This is what we call boundaries – personal boundaries. We sense them for ourselves and we can sense when we are getting some push-back or rejection from another person where we have overstepped a boundary. It is therefore respectful to acknowledge our own and other people’s boundaries.
LEARN to say "NO"!
If you find yourself thinking something is not ok, but not having the courage to say it, then someone or something has crossed a boundary. If we ignore this internal voice for too long, anyone can trample over us and we concede to one more powerful whether it’s working overtime at work, or carrying someone else’s responsibilities; being bullied or accepting the demeaning behaviour of someone else.
This is the pathway of giving away our personal power.
Learning to say NO is the journey of personal growth and development. But we can only do this when we have a clear sense of our self, personal boundaries and the confidence to speak up for what we believe.
* Would you like to learn how to say NO!
* Do you need clear boundaries in some relationships?
Coaching provides a process of learning and growing in confidence to speak your mind, to stand in your truth, to speak up for convictions.